well, tailskid, your EMU squad may be the worst football team in the country, but you cant say the Good Guys arent doing their best ... uh ... worst ... to keep up.

today they played a UCLA team that isnt very good, and the Cougs lost 43:7 at home. their one good player, the true frosh QB, got hurt last week, and his replacement promptly threw three INTs on the first three possessions of the game today.

they were down 14:0 after the 1st Quarter. they have now been outscored 154:3 in the 1st Quarters of games this year. in fact, in the last 2 years, they have only been ahead during regulation once against a Div. 1 opponent. (both their wins were by 3 pts. in OT where the winning kicks were their only lead of the game.)

to add to the fun today, they then opened up the 2nd Quarter by giving up a 70-yd TD run to UCLA's slow-footed QB who you could time in the 40 with a sundial. then they had a punt blocked for a safety. it just got worse and worse from there. i watched the game online with a sort of stunned amazement and morbid curiosity, in awe of just how truly wretched that team is.

thank god basketball season has started.

Amazing in some sense, at least.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/35-amazing-science-fair-projects/

via jpmassar. Check out the sweater in #4, and the outfit in #15.

#11: fich says this one made him think of my goatse tag

#16: that haircut and mustache say future chain store manager

#20 will appeal to rcfox et al.

(I'll use the userpic, but I can't bring myself to put the science tag on this.)

This boingboing thread rocks.

Paging rcfox...

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091112141311.htm



Also: Record High Temperatures Far Outpace Record Lows Across US

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals,
I'm a vegetarian because I HATE PLANTS!!!
– A. Whitney Brown

as you may have noticed, Chef Jackass does love the meatses. however, the Chef also digs the plants as well, and skin_it_mahatma was asking for a few more recipes for the Chef's herbivore friends, so it seemed logical to oblige.

there are few things in the world more cruel than vegetable abuse. veggies are yummy, and should be prepared and served with love. instead, we too often are presented with squushy slop, or force-fed miserably bland, overcooked greens. thats totally unacceptable. so its time we stop abusing our vegetables and giving them the sort of love and care that they deserve.

few veggies have suffered greater indignity in history than our good friend here, the humble cabbage:



and the greatest indignity of all committed against cabbage is what passes in most parts of America as cole slaw. few items will send picnicgoers running for the exits (if not the restrooms) faster than company cole slaw – slimy, gooey, sloppy mush, drowned in Hellmans or some other 2nd division mayo. barf. thats not food! thats wallpaper paste! c'mon people, we can do better than this!

Dominant Cole Slaw
the term "cole slaw," in fact, refers to any sort of shredded cabbage dish. its originally a Dutch invention, and how we got to the current American tradition of cabbage slimery is beyond me. but i'm putting a stop to that with this recipe that will totally dominate. this recipe is a variation of another traditional southern BBQ recipe, an excellent side fixin' for your eating pleasure.

i should point out that the Official Girlfriend of Chef Jackass has declared herself skeptical, having been subjected to way too much bad cabbage in her lifetime. but thats OK – Chef Jackass is gettin' busy, so yet again the odds are in our favor.

6:30 pm
1. shred, slice and dice
we've got 2 heads of cabbage here – one green, one red. i've also got this lovely bell pepper here, which i'm going to dice. i'm also going to chop a stalk of celery, some carrots, and some old red and white onions. ah, what the hell ... lets throw in a jalapeño as well. i'm going to combine all of this together in a bowl, and i'm going to add a cup of sugar. this recipe makes A LOT.

2. secret sauce!
well, its not a secret. its actually a boiled vinaigrette. I've got 2C of apple cider vinegar here, and i'm going to combine this with 1C of olive oil. i'm also going to add some rock salt here, about 1 T or so. i also like a little ZING! here, so i'm going to add some Tabasco. i put this a sauce pan and let it come to a slow boil.

3. mix
and now i'm going to combine the secret sauce with the greens, mix it well to coat. cover and chill for 2 hrs. in the fridge while i turn my attention to this lamb roast that i have for tonight ...

7:15 pm
of course i know what to do with lamb – make more BBQ sauce!

xp's South Carolina style BBQ sauce
combine this in a cheap shit pan on the stove:
• 2C brown mustard
• 4 oz. beer
• 1/2C apple cider vinegar
• 3 pinches of brown sugar
• 1 1/2 T adobo sauce
• T worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 T cayenne
• T salt
• crushed black pepper

bring to a slow boil, simmer 10 mins. and let that thicken. put it in the fridge for 2 hrs. i pretty much just made that up on the fly here. but yeah, thats pretty much going to rule on the lamb ...

8:20 pm
tonight's main course is encrusted in a mix of red pepper flakes, oregano, sea salt, and crushed black pepper, with a smidgen of cumin thrown in. time to make some cornbread. and do some more dishes. sigh ...

9:15 pm
dinner is served! the slaw has a lovely purple color from the red cabbage, the vinegar isnt too overpowering. its still crisp and fresh to taste. for a kick, i'll throw some N. Carolina red sauce from the other night on the slaw – cabbage is tough, it can handle a wet sauce and not so get limp. delicious. served up beside grilled lamb with mustard sauce and cornbread. berries for dessert.

KC says, "i guess i'm just not a slaw eater, but its still better than that wallpaper paste." well, we cant convert everyone, i suppose.

via boingboing, a surprisingly interesting history of toilet paper and the marketing thereof.

Um, wow: "Currently, the United States spends more than $6 billion a year on toilet tissue—more than any other nation in the world. Americans, on average, use 57 squares a day and 50 lbs. a year."

There's no WAY I use 57 squares a day. So if that's really the average, someone's eating too much Colon Blow (and no, I don't have a square to spare).

They don't say, but let's assume a square means a square, regardless of plies.

Poll #1485127
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 43

How much toilet paper do you think you use a day?

When would you be most likely to come to a downtown San Diego three-day tournament? Not saying anything is happening...just curious.

fri/sat/sun 7/7/5 or so in downtown, open.

Cory likes it, and I read his review up until this point:



Oops, that instantly disqualifies the review in my mind. Monstrous Regiment is the only TP novel that I started but didn't finish (with the caveat that there may be some recent ones I haven't read at all). IIRC one of the things that put me off was that the characters were too stock and cookie-cutter and the writing seemed mechanical and labored. Maybe I should give it another chance though.

Numbers on a bicycle chain:



via boingboing

i'm currently reading the book Salt by Mark Kurlansky, which is a great read for you foodies out there. its all about the history of salt, and how precious a commodity salt used to be. it also has all sorts of crazy old recipes, like this one from the book De re coquinaria, attributed to Marcus Gavius Apicius (the actual author is of dispute), which is the oldest cookbook still in existence. this next dish apparently was haute cuisine in the Roman era. what do you think, should i make this for the shindig next year? or maybe this would be a big hit at my office holiday party:

Place cooked mallows, leeks, beets, or cooked cabbage sprouts, roasted thrushes and quenelles of chicken, tidbits of pork and squab, chicken, and other similar shreds of fine meats that may be available. Arrange everything in alternating layers in a mold. Crush pepper and lovage with two parts old wine, one part garum, one part honey and a little oil. Taste, and when well-mixed and in due proportions put in a sauce pan and allow to heat moderately. When boiling, add a pint of milk in which about eight eggs have been dissolved. pour over the mold and heat slowly but do not allow to boil, and serve when thickened, unmolding the dish before serving.

um, yuck. i think i'll stick to pozole.

Anyone who didn't see reproductive choice rights as the last roadblock to health care reform coming months ago wasn't paying attention, and learned nothing from the previous "administration's" existence.

http://apnews.excite.com/article/20091112/D9BTLUUG0.html

Rumor has it, he's planning to move to Nome, and run for half a term as Governor of Alaska; and if elected, he'll build a nice big wall to keep out Russians looking for the land of oil-drilling opportunity.

It's my rumor, please help me spread it.

so i was all set to write about vegetables and then wisemonkey goes and does something like post a link on facebook to a New York Times article on po'boys. yes, she's gone and done it, and pretty much all i wanted all day was a New Orleans-style zep.


Po'Boys
i've got a long loaf of French bread here from an outstanding local Vietnamese bakery, and i'm going to split this in half and then coat the insides with some Tabasco butter. a sandwich like this would be the ideal occasion to make some suck free mayo and season it up with chipotle or Tabasco or paprika.

i've got some shrimp here, 1 lb. of them, 30 count, peeled and cleaned. i'm going to batter these suckers up and fry them. fuck healthy eating, i'll do that tomorrow. this is a 3-step dredging process, as i run them through bowls containing the following:

1. a cup of regular flour mixed with paprika
2. 2 eggs beaten with a few T of water and spritzes of Tabasco
3. a mix of 1C corn flour, 1/2C regular flour, and more paprika

so i dredge the shrimp 3 times, get them all coated up. (nice and sloppy, this recipe.) now i heat 2 1/2 C of oil in a frypan and cook the shrimp in 2 batches. fry them just until golden brown, and its important not to crowd the pan. i'm making 2 large sandwiches here, so i'm gonna do one for sophonax first and then one for me.

let the shrimp drain on a paper towel after frying, then stuff the French bread full – shrimps, shredded lettuce, some red onion, a tenacious tomato from the garden. smother the contents aggressively with Tabasco, slice in half, serve with a cold beer.

OK, who's awesome?

via boingboing, "A Russian actor's group called 'Big Difference' remade The Matrix as a Charlie Chaplin silent film."



"Which pill would you choose: blue or red?"

"How would I know? It's a black and white movie!"

Follow Nancy Pelosi's lead and get nailed in the nuts:

I can't believe that title didn't occur to me sooner. Although I'd give more props for someone who actually pranked a marquee to say this, instead of what appears to be a bad Photoshop job. (Link is entirely SFW.)

what i remembered after an hourlong shlep to Berkeley this morning, upon seeing a deserted campus: "oh yeah, its a holiday today."

jnala posted a while ago about how home used to be where the stereo and CDs were, then it was where the Internet connection was, but lately he realized it was where the cats are. By any of those measures, the LV house is now home, although I still have a shitload of unpacking to do. The cat has of course been here since I drove down on Saturday, all the other boxes I didn't drive with me are now here, and I can has Internets[1].

Although to be precise, I didn't truly feel at home until I fired up Quicken just now and updated all my account transactions -- I hadn't realized how dependent I've become on Quicken to keep my financial shit together. Not that I'd be totally hosed without it -- everything is either downloaded from financial institutions so there's a backup source, and I do duplicate manual entry for my checking account, but it really is nice to have everything organized in one place.

[1] Actually, being who I am and what I do, the LV house has had Internets since my September visit, at which time I set up a machine to live here so that I could transfer my email services etc. over seamlessly without any meaningful downtime when I moved -- I've been sending/receiving e-mail from the LV box for a few weeks now. Yes, I'm a geek.

heh: Poll: 100% Of Grandsons Talented

"A Zogby poll of 1,542 American grandparents published Monday found that grandsons were described as "very" to "extremely" talented by 1,542 of the respondents. "Participants in the poll were emphatic in their descriptions of the talents of grandsons in fields as diverse as advertising and sales, choral performance, baseball, talking, crawling, making their beds, video games, and instructing their elders on proper cell-phone use," pollster Tom Waterton said. "In addition, an overwhelming percentage of grandchildren were described as outgoing, sharp, and looking just like Uncle Andy, you remember Uncle Andy, he was always up to something, too bad he passed so young, he would have loved the grandchild in question." Sources at Zogby admitted that the survey was incomplete, as several hundred pollsters are still unable to get their assigned grandparents off the phone."

The movers said they'd show up to deliver everything between 9 and 10 today, so I am once again sitting on the floor of an essentially empty bedroom with the cat. Although this time, he has an attached bathroom that leads into a cavernous walk-in closet in which to amuse himself. But now that I've packed away the airbed and the room is almost bare, I wonder if he thinks we're moving *again* and there's another 9-hour car ride in his future :-) (Travelogue from the move to follow in post later today or this week.)